Beef Box: Golf Pants With Hateful Mini-Pocket-in-Pocket

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The tiny pocket inside the right-hand front pocket of some of the pants you own is for your pocket watch—which, you may have noticed, you stopped carrying in 1895. So why is the tiny pocket still there? Its only function, as far as I can see, is to become hopelessly clogged with change, tees, ball markers, golf pencils, and green-repair tools—which are especially insidious because if one of them gets in sideways you can’t extract it without undressing.

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Clothing manufacturers don’t even sew tags in the collars of golf shirts anymore. Why do they splurge on pockets that serve no purpose?

Hopelessly impacted "watch" pocket.

Hopelessly golf-impacted “watch” pocket.

I own two pairs of golf pants that are even more annoying. Both pairs have a “scorecard pocket,” which is just inside the right-hand rear pocket and is almost exactly the same size. One pair also has an extra pocket in front, just inside the regular pocket, so that (supposedly) you can keep your keys and other non-golf stuff isolated from your tees and other golf stuff. The idea sounds sort of clever, but all it does is create frustration and confusion where none existed, because when you have two pockets in one place you have a fifty-fifty chance of sticking your hand in the wrong one.

Hand in wrong pocket (a simulation).

Hand in wrong pocket (a reenactment).

The only solution, other than buying pants with normal pockets, is to perform a partial pocketectomy:

Surgical implement, resected  "watch" pocket.

Problem solved: surgical implement, resected “watch” pocket.

9 thoughts on “Beef Box: Golf Pants With Hateful Mini-Pocket-in-Pocket

  1. i cant believe someone has finally posted something about those damn pockets. I think i cut out about 6 of them from my golf shorts just this summer.
    Thank you.
    Matt
    Dyker Beach
    I hope i wasnt that guy from fuck – speaking clan you played with.

    • But if your keys end up in the mini-pocket, it’s next to impossible to extract them without unloading other stuff from the pocket first.

    • I just used iron-on denim patches to reinforce the crappy mesh pockets in a different pair of shorts — but, unfortunately, not until after I’d lost one of my favorite ball markers and my Morefar green-repair tool.

  2. This article is wrong as it gets. Golf shorts weren’t even around in the 1800s lol. Nevertheless, the tiny pocket on DENIM JEANS is indeed for a pocket watch. However those pockets are perched above yet inside the right pocket. On dress slacks it seas at the very bottom of the pocket. I’m not sure what it’s for yet but I assure you it’s not a damn pocket watch pocket. Those don’t exist on slacks or shorts and are only found on denim. Usually your “cowboy” jeans. Aka Levi. This article here is total rubbish.

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