18 Good Things About Golf: No. 8

8. Golf reminds you that, all things considered, the world would probably be a better place if all the truly important decisions were made by women. Male golfers have a much greater tendency than female golfers to view playing golf as the most important non-work, non-family activity in their lives, and to conduct themselves accordingly. At my own small club, the men, as a group, are far more likely to: play in rain, hail, burning heat, darkness, and snow; keep score; offer unsolicited, counterproductive swing advice to their playing partners; practice their short game; buy a stupid thing they saw in a Golf Channel infomercial; describe, shot by shot, a dreary recent round; employ a caddie; refuse to play without having something on the line; play more than eighteen holes in a day; travel anywhere at all for the sole purpose of playing golf; and regularly watch women’s golf tournaments on TV. The women, meanwhile, are generally more likely, as a group, to: believe that luncheons and dinner dances are essential club activities; skip a tournament if they feel it’s someone else’s turn to win the trophy; call it a day after nine holes; hold no particular opinion about the condition of the greens; view changing the color of the club-house trim as a capital-spending priority; refuse to play for money; and not even think of going for a swim in the pond on the fourth hole in their underpants. In other words, if women golfers viewed golf the same way men golfers do, civilization would have come to an end long ago. So good for them.

 

3 thoughts on “18 Good Things About Golf: No. 8

  1. Pingback: Curtis Returns to the Winner’s Circle, Don’t Forget Lee Westwood - FLOG

  2. Excellent as always David. Is there any other sport that can claim the likes of a Darwin or Warren Wind among its scribes? ‘The World According to Fred’ is only somewhat about golf, and yet is one of the best golf books ever written.

    • Another excellent memoir was written by Bernard Darwin’s cousin Gwen Raverat. It’s called “Period Piece,” and if you haven’t read it I highly recommend it. No golf, although Bernard is mentioned several times. They had quite a childhood. It’s a terrific book.

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